Creature Chaos
by Thel
Summary: Revenge of the Dog Whisperer. Follow-up to Creature Comforts.


TITLE: Creature Chaos  
AUTHOR: Thel  
EMAIL: kethe@hotmail.com  
ARCHIVE:  You want it, you got it.  Let me know who and where first.  
FEEDBACK: Please. Here, or by email. : )  
CATEGORY: Challenge sequel  
SPOILERS: None  
SEASON / SEQUEL: Any  
RATING: G  
SUMMARY: The original challenge was from Huffy on the SG1HC list. I swore I wouldn't write a sequel… and then I did.  Oh well.  
STATUS: Complete  
THANKS TO:  Petty and the Tok'ra Flats ladies.  
NOTES: Huffy did not file a sequel to the challenge.  Petty just gave me this bunny and I ran with it.  : )

Creature Chaos…  Revenge of the Dog Whisperer…

It was a warm Thursday evening.  Daniel was at Jack's house finishing off a report for General Hammond.  

He had started the report at his own apartment.  Halfway through the report, Daniel's computer made a sneezing noise and died.  He had sighed, popped the floppy out of the drive and got up.

He made a quick stop at the store and showed up with a six pack of beer and some chips.  When Jack opened the door, Daniel held the beer up in one hand, the disk in the other.  Jack nodded his head and opened the door.  Retreating back to the living room, Jack took a beer and flopped down to watch the game while Daniel did some typing.

Two hours later, both the game and the report were complete and Daniel was stretching his back, staring out the back window.  "There's a dog in your backyard."  Daniel called over his shoulder to Jack.

"What?"

"Dog.  In your yard."

"Buuuuudddddeeeee!"  Jack bellowed.  There was a silver-topped blur as he opened the door and shot outside, greeting the dog with a whoop.  Daniel watched Jack from the window as the older man ran around the backyard, chasing after the brown and black dog.  German shepherd... maybe a cross-breed.  That was all Daniel knew about dogs.

He grinned as Jack faked left when he should have gone right and the dog tackled him, hitting him straight on with his broad chest.  Jack went down with a curse, but rolled to his feet quickly.  For its part, the dog grew even more excited, racing around the yard.  He rushed Jack and then danced away when Jack growled and made a swipe at him.  Soon, the dog had its tail wagging madly, attempting top speed in the confines of Jack's back yard.

Daniel opened the sliding door as Jack took his fourth tumble.

"You okay?"  He called as it took Jack a second longer to catch his breath.  The dog took advantage of it, vigorously licking Jack's face as the Colonel sputtered and pushed him away.  The dog's head then snapped up and it yipped at Daniel, backing up and dropping his front half to the ground, butt in the air, in a classic 'play' pose.

Jack got up and smiled, taking a step forward with a loud 'hee-yah!'.  The dog all but levitated three feet sideways before landing and spinning around three times rapidly.  It dodged around Jack and, before Daniel could say anything, it had barrelled over him and into the house.  Daniel landed on his back on the couch, the dog's front paws on his chest as it greeted him enthusiastically.  He curled up, hands trying to fend off the dog as its tongue got to know him far more intimately than he wanted.

With a series of thuds, Jack climbed the stairs to the back door and made it into the room.  He drew breath to order the dog off, but was unable to complete the sentence as he doubled over laughing.

Curled up in a ball and sputtering, Daniel was trying to push the big dog off.  Jack finally took pity on him and gave a yell.  "Hey!  Outta here, Buddy!"

The dog planted all four feet on the back of the couch and launched sideways over the coffee table, sending it and all of its contents flying.  Buddy then barrelled over Jack and out the back door in a flurry of papers and books.

Jack leaped for the sliding door and slammed it shut, locking it for good measure.  He turned his back to it and leaned on it, sending a sidelong look at Daniel.

The archaeologist was imitating a limp dishrag, still on his back on the couch.

"Friend of yours?"  He finally managed, taking off his glasses and wiping his face with his arm.  He was about to speak but then concentrated on spitting out dog hair.  "I think it licked my teeth."  He spoke the last with carefully concealed horror.

Jack's lips twitched as he put everything he had into not laughing at Daniel.

"He's gone now."

Daniel levered himself upright, rubbing at the paw marks that were sure to be imprinted on his chest.  Jack had to look away as Daniel put his glasses on, only to find two large tongue marks smeared across the lenses.  He sighed as he cleaned his glasses with the tail of his shirt.

"He's a neighbour's dog.  Some times I walk him.  She's about this tall…"  Jack waved his hands at about mid-chest level.  "If I don't take him and wear him out then he drags her around the block.  I suggested she get roller-blades."  

The archaeologist was not amused.  Jack decided to help Daniel clean up before he dug himself any further.  He crouched and started picking up paper.

"Ah… Daniel?"

The archaeologist squinted through his glasses as he held them up to the light, inspecting them.  He put them on and looked at Jack.

"Oh, it didn't."

"You've got it saved, right?"

Daniel sighed as Jack handed him the tattered remains of the report he had written for Hammond.  Somehow, in one simple movement, the dog had managed to get nose prints, paw prints or drool on ever single page.

"I better have it saved."  Daniel frowned at Jack, like this was all his fault… which, even Jack had to admit, was true.  Sorta.

Jack clapped his hands together once, deciding that avoidance was as good as an apology.  "How about some dinner?"

Daniel gathered his papers together and checked over the floppy diskette.  "I'm going to reprint this and then I should go."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why go?"

"Where?  Oh.  I…"  Daniel looked back at his papers.  "Well, I didn't want to intrude."

Jack responded with an elegant 'pfft', before waving his hand dismissively.  "I was thinking of that Italian place we went to that time."

"Italian?"

"Yeah."

"What time?"

"What?"

"What time?"

"That time we… you remember…?  After that thing with that Goa'uld."

"That thing with the…"  The light went on in Daniel's mind.  "Oh, yeah.  That thing."

"That was good."

"The thing with the…?"

"No.  The food."

"Yeah, not bad."

"So?"

"So?"

"Good?"

"They deliver?"

"Nope."

"Then…?"

"Pick-up."

"You buying?"

"Of course n…"  Jack trailed off, looking at Daniel's dishevelled clothes and tattered report.  He cleared his throat.  "Of course."

"Ah."  Daniel nodded.  "Then it sounds good."

"Good.  The usual?"

Daniel looked up from his mangled papers.  "I have a 'usual'?"

"Yep."

"Oh.  Well, then, the usual it is."

"Good.  I called about 20 minutes ago.  It should be ready soon."  Jack let the beginnings of a smile curl up the corner of his mouth.  Daniel just stared back for a moment before offering up his own lightning quick grin.  Jack gestured to the wreck of the coffee table.  "Why don't you clean up a bit in here?  Really, if you're going to play with the dog in my house, you should clean up after yourself."  Jack grabbed his jacket and ran for the door while Daniel stood, mouth hanging open.

As the door slammed shut, Daniel shook his head and grinned.

Ten minutes later, the report was reprinted and Daniel was straightening up the living room.  He righted the coffee table and started restacking his books.  He frowned as he realised that an old leather-bound edition was missing.  Daniel dropped to his knees, peering under the coffee table and couch.

He sorted through the papers and scrambled to the garbage bin to sort through the discarded report pages on the off chance he'd thrown the book out with the report.

Nothing.

Daniel's brow furrowed as he retraced his steps through the living room.  He stopped by the door and looked over the couch and table.  Nothing.

He looked outside as something in the backyard caught his eye The book was lying on the lawn, face down and open.  Daniel winced and slid the door open, trotting quickly down the steps.

The book was chewed, one corner worn and soggy.  Daniel bent and reached for it when a brown blur shot past him, startling him.  He jumped backward three feet as Buddy grabbed the book in his mouth and lay down on the ground ten feet away.

"Good doggie?"  Daniel turned the praise into a question, unsure how to proceed.  Buddy wagged his tail, happy to have pleased the tall stranger.  He picked the book up and threw it forward a step, barking once at Daniel.

"Oh, no, no, no.  Bad dog."  Daniel tried his most commanding tone, pointing to the ground.  "Leave it.  Go home.  Shoo!"  He waved his fingers rather ineffectually at the dog.

Buddy cocked his head, ears perked up.  He whined once and managed to look somewhat contrite.  Daniel melted.  "It's okay.  You're a good boy just…"  He reached for the book.

Upon being reassured that he was indeed a 'good boy', Buddy's tail gave an enthusiastic wag and he grabbed the book, delighted that Daniel wanted to continue the game.

"No!"  Daniel tried to be stern.  Buddy's ears drooped and he dropped the book on the ground.  "Bad dog!"  Daniel wagged his finger menacingly at the large animal.  Buddy dropped to the ground, head on his paws, nose on the book.  "Leave it."  Daniel commanded uneasily.

As he reached for the book, Buddy once again grabbed it and ran ten feet away.  He now had it by one open cover, swinging it from his jaws as if taunting Daniel.  Daniel's face twisted at the sight.  He ran at Buddy.  The dog was delighted by this and bounded away again, Daniel hot on his heels.

He cornered Buddy against the fence and prepared to leap.  Unfortunately, the dog was one step ahead of him and leaped sideways, chest impacting Daniel's thigh, hurling Daniel over his back.  Daniel landed face first in Jack's recently watered garden, mud quickly soaking into his shirt and splattering on his face and glasses.

Daniel looked up in time to have Buddy enthusiastically clean his face, long tongue managing to swipe Daniel's molars again.  Daniel got to his feet with a roar and ran after Buddy, who dodged easily.

Finally, Daniel stopped, panting.  Buddy loped to the other side of the yard, as if preparing for the next round.  Daniel decided to improvise.  Summoning the spirit of Colonel Jack O'Neill, he bellowed.  "Buddy!  Drop it!"

The dog reacted instantly, dropping the open book face down into a mud puddle.  He then promptly stood on the book with his front paws and barked.

For a long moment, Daniel and the dog squared off, neither giving ground.  Buddy broke first, grabbing the book and bounding away again.

Finally, Daniel had another idea.  He held up his fist and used the magic words.  "I have a cookie."  He figured it might work.  Hell, it worked on Jack most of the time.

Apparently, it also worked on dogs.  Buddy dropped the book, raised his ears and started to bounce.  Daniel made a jiggling motion with his arm, watching the dog track him excitedly.

Daniel wound up and 'threw' the nonexistent cookie in the opposite direction of the book.  Buddy tore off after it.  Daniel tore off after the book, grabbing it while Buddy was still sniffing around the hydrangeas.

Daniel carefully opened the book.  "When I get my hands on you..."  He muttered.  The back cover was mangled.  The last three pages were gone completely.  There were pawprints on every second page and teeth marks on the others.  He couldn't even imagine how to start restoring it.  He looked up as the sliding door opened and Jack returned.

"Hey… whoa.  What happened to you?"  Jack's eyebrows went up at the site of Daniel streaked in mud, glasses askew.

Buddy made a high-pitched yip of delight at Jack's return and bounded up to him.

"Buddy."  Daniel held up a lump of mud.  "He took this."

"Ouch."  Jack whistled.  "He's high energy, over-active, you know."

"And destructive."

"He's a puppy."

"Dangerous."

"Not dangerous.  Enthusiastic."

"Well, he was… enthusiastic all over this book.  I doubt it can be saved."

"Well, it's just a book."

"_Just… a book?"  Daniel spoke slowly, enunciating every word carefully._

"Hey, Daniel, aren't you always saying we shouldn't get attached to 'things'.  You know, the ideas are more important than the objects?"

Daniel's eyebrows went up.  He gave Jack a long stare.  "You're right, Jack.  I'm glad you can be so mature about this."

Now Jack was confused.  "What?"

Daniel gave a little, knowing smile.  "Well, it was your book, not mine."

Jack jumped forward, grabbing the sodden book from Daniel's hand.  He examined it and let out a roar.  "That dog is dead meat!"

Buddy perked up his ears and shot out of the yard without a sound.


End file.
